it's been almost three months since I graced the interior of your cluttered inboxes, and for that I both apologize and say YOU'RE WELCOME. you haven't had to hear about frasier in weeks!! you haven't had confederate flag-themed weddings burned into your retinas since november! you were granted ignorance of all the bullshit that that SOB walmart yodel kid has been doing!
as most of you know, this newsletter started as an outlet for things I found during my 2-10am news shift as a writing intern. well, womp womp, my internship ended and I have been unemployed since December 1st.
until........this week. yes, that's right. almost 2 years after graduating, I, lily zacharias, actually have a real-life-not-an-internship JOB. (!!!!!!!!!!!) as of 2am monday I am back at WGN, getting paid to write words that chicagoans hear in their ears as they drink their coffee and dread morning traffic/their mortal existence. and as of 5:20am monday when I started this newsletter, I am not getting paid to write the random bits and bobs of news that you're about to read. so let’s get this show on the road!
I am known to give unsolicited opinions about awards shows, but let's be real, you’ve probably been grammy’d to death on twitter. however, it is worth noting that kacey musgraves is like, really hot??
I was surprisingly still awake at the beginning of the show, just in time to catch michelle obama's surprise appearance. I stan the obamas as much as the next liberal millennial, but I truly could not care less about this cameo. are our grammy's standards really so low that a generic speech about the ~power of music~ deserves this level of hype?
???? never ???? really cosmo? because i'm pretty sure I was way happier mere minutes later when I saw hot goddess kacey musgraves in this red jumpsuit:
katy perry 100% did not belong on this stage, for the record. but miley brought the HEAT with yet another cover of Jolene. here’s some extra bonus miley content you might not have seen: her and shawn mendes singing “islands in the stream” on Friday night. *swoons*
apparently kylie jenner and travis scott showed up too late for the red carpet and I am LIVING for this photo
i'm going to be honest, I am like really, really out of touch with current events since my internship ended in November. so instead of making a fool of myself trying to analyze our current political hellscape, I'll give you a brief summary of my last 90 days.
i went to a bar with chicago pals britt and gail, where we danced alongside a man who looked so much like the guy who played serial killer ed kemper on mindhunter…….and I had drank just the right number of IPAs to approach this man and say “DO YOU LIKE TRUE CRIME?” and tell him he looks just like like guy who raped the dismembered heads of his victims.
but I mean, was I WRONG????
moving on!! one day, my cat emptied his stomach contents onto my bottle of antidepressants, creating an image that perfectly symbolizes my early 20s:
in order to find things to talk about, I’ve been scrolling through my iphone photos and found this tweet, which made me laugh on december 29th:
I dressed my dog up in her old halloween costume on january 20th and it was really effing cute ok??
and….that’s about it for the last three months of my life. the highlight of 2019 so far has been getting new bedroom furniture and snuggling with my cat a lot (when he’s not puking). there is some FASCINATING news in the television world these days……
that’s right bitches, you may be subjected to even MORE frasier in your lives!!!!!! imagine my weekly recap of frasier reboot episodes!!! i can feel my readership increasing already!!!!
good ish I’ve watched/listened to/read lately:
and on that happy note, I bid you farewell
I am very determined to send this out before I leave for work today, and I simply do not have the stamina to scour the internet for additional content, so I will leave you with a bit more personal life update.
as most of you know from reading this newsletter, I live with my mom who has stage 4 metastatic rectal cancer. yesterday marked one year since we found out the extent of her diagnosis. it has been 366 days of sickness and scariness and sadness and true, utter heartbreak. on the other hand, it has been a year that has drawn me closer to my mom, opened unthinkable career doors, fostered beautiful friendships, and given me the confidence to navigate life while preparing for my favorite person’s death. from the bottom of my heart, I thank all of you reading this, because you have helped light a fire under me to get this newsletter out at least a dozen times over the last 6 months. having an outlet—as weird as this one is—to write and give unsolicited opinions has made a huge difference in my life, and I genuinely appreciate every message I get about this dumb newsletter. also thanks for sharing it with coworkers who have never met me in real life lolz.
alright everyone take a nice deep meditative breath because we’re getting to my main point: you might have a friend like me who is going through an unthinkable time in their life. you might not know what to say to them, how to offer support, or if you can even talk about your own life to them without making things awkward. you might not want to step on any toes or bother them or ask the wrong questions. listen to me: do not fuck up your friendships by letting your own insecurities get in the way of being a friend. send them a text. tag them in a meme. show up to their apartment with portillo’s chocolate cake. venmo them $5 for coffee (shoutout SG for doing this on Monday). TELL THEM that you don’t know how to be the best friend to them right now, but you are willing to do whatever they need. nobody knows the ~perfect~ way to get their bud through a breakup, illness, or grief. the most important thing to do is make them feel seen, heard, and loved.
so, in honor of valentine’s day—the holiday we all pretend to hate—I beg you to call your parents, your siblings, your friends, and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. buy your dog a new toy and your cat some catnip! make this a day to spread love in all forms, not just romantic pink-and-red love.
I’ll hopefully be back next week (i’m not known for my regularity with this newsletter) with all the ugly weddings and stupid shenanigans of the SOB walmart yodel kid that you’ve grown to love!!
but until then, tell your mom to get her colonoscopy.
xo,
lily